El hermano mayor
Hace unos días, mientras paseaba a Nico, mi perrete, pude escuchar una breve conversación entre dos desconocidos. Eran hermanos, un chico de aproximadamente 17 u 18 años y una chica menor, posiblemente de unos 12.
Lo sé por la conversación que te trascribo ahora, no porque sea adivina jejeje.
–“…. Pues no lo entiendo.”
–“es muy sencillo, no es bueno que pases tanto tiempo con el móvil”
–“ya, pero es que tú no eres mi padre, eres mi hermano y si papá no me ha dicho nada, a ti qué te importa”
–“no es bueno que…….”
Ya no pude escuchar más, así es que no te puedo contar cómo acaba, sólo que me trajo recuerdos de mi infancia, porque yo tengo el papel de hermana mayor, que no de hija mayor, que es muy diferente.
Cuando te ha tocado ser el primero de otro u otros, los padres te asignan más tareas de las que te corresponden. Consciente o inconscientemente, te incluyen dentro de su círculo de responsabilidad.
Una vez en ese círculo, las exigencias para cumplir objetivos son casi las mismas: la persona a tu cargo no puede sufrir ningún daño.
La única diferencia es que tu capacidad de toma de decisiones es infinitamente inferior a la de tus padres.
Cuando ya eres adulto, es cuando eres consciente del peso que has llevado durante tanto tiempo.
Si no eres consciente de cómo te ha afectado a ti ese papel y eres feliz, sigue así, no hay nada que tengas que hacer.
Si algo te está resonando, puede ser por muchos motivos, entre ellos:
- Porque el papel de hermano mayor te lo has quedado y sigues realizando sus funciones, aunque ahora has ampliado tu espectro de actuación y te preocupas de más personas de tu entorno y de fuera de él.
- Cuando en las reuniones familiares, en el momento “recuerdo”, se cuentan situaciones e incluso se detallan sentimientos que no puedes reconocer.
Si esto que lees, lejos de hacerte sonreír por las anécdotas que te trae el pasado, encuentras cierta tristeza u otro sentimiento encontrado, es el momento que tomes las riendas de tu vida.
¿Cómo retoma uno una vida que nunca ha experimentado?
- Asígnate tareas o funciones familiares que, verdaderamente, quieras tener. Si a ti te toca llevar siempre a tus padres al médico y te gustaría que esa labor se pudiese alternar entre otras personas, pues anótalo entre las tareas que ya no quieres hacer en la lista de tu nueva vida.
- Empieza a creerte, que no es lo mismo que empezar a hacer, que puedes decir que NO. Si se te piden que hagas “un favor”, aunque ahora no te sientas capaz de decir que no, piensa si esa persona que te lo pide tiene la posibilidad de hacerlo por sí misma e incluso más tiempo que tú.
Sé que únicamente te he puesto dos recomendaciones, pero si no has realizado nunca ninguna de ellas, tienes mucho trabajo por delante.
Cuando acabes, si quieres me escribes y te pongo más deberes 😉.
P.D. Si te ha tocado ser hermano menor, no te afecta, pero a lo mejor entiendes un poco más al que ha sido tu ángel de la guarda durante tanto tiempo.
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