Me rompe la yema del huevo
El fin de semana pasado tuvimos visita familiar en casa.
Vino mi hermana a comer. Parece un fin de semana normal, pero para nosotras no, porque vivimos a 300km de distancia.
Durante la comida comentábamos momentos de la infancia y mi hijo flipaba con algunas de las anécdotas.
Una de esas anécdotas era que mi padre, durante un tiempo, tuvo la genial idea de romper nuestra yema del huevo antes de que pudiésemos mojar el pan en ella.
Mi hermana la recordaba desde la risa, pero mi emoción ante ese recuerdo, era la misma, la de la ira.
Después de muchas terapias y dedicar mi vida a estudiar el comportamiento humano, puedo decir, con bastante orgullo, que es una ira controlada. Ese recuerdo no me hace estar enfadada con mi padre a día a de hoy. Ni ese ni ningún otro.
Cuando has aprendido a conocerte, las paces con el pasado son algo más fácil de conseguir.
La razón de porqué a mi hermana no la molestaba y a mí sí, es simplemente porque ella tiene un comportamiento predominantemente racional y el mío es emocional.
Encuadrada en la emocionalidad, me afectan más las situaciones conflictivas, me resulta muy complicado “racionalizar” una situación y obviarla en un breve periodo de tiempo.
Si a esto le sumo que mi motivador principal, el motor que me impulsa es la búsqueda del equilibrio constante en todos los ámbitos de mi vida, entorpece bastante mi labor de obviar todo aquello que, según mi mapa, se puede solucionar, explicando a la persona que tienes en frente que, lo que hace, te está doliendo.
Esto que te he resumido en dos pequeños párrafos, he tardado años en descubrirlo, pero es lo que me permite, actualmente, enfrentarme cada día a mi pasado y a mi presente, buscando siempre en mí, la manera de que no me afecte lo que pasa a mi alrededor y que no puedo controlar.
Si algo quiero que te lleves hoy es:
- los demás no van a cambiar porque tú se lo pidas
- es posible que el problema lo tengas tú, hay muchas personas que pueden vivir perfectamente en un constante conflicto
- independientemente te hagan caso o no, expresa lo que sientes, por tu parte que no quede manifestar a los demás tu malestar ante ciertas circunstancias
Con esta pequeña anécdota espero haber abierto una pequeña ventana a la esperanza de que hay cosas que vas a poder perdonar, pero sólo si te lo propones.
Si tienes fuerzas, pero no las suficientes para hacerlo tú mimo, escríbeme.
P.D. No hay nada más complicado en la vida, que enfrentarse al pasado.

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